This past week I’ve been feeling restless living at home with my parents. I came here to feel nurtured and comfortable after ending my marriage and working nonstop for 18 years of my life. And while I love my family and am grateful, they know I’m restless. It’s nice to have a rent-free place to stay while I travel as well. But I’m finding that I just can’t feel settled. I want to travel and explore! I want to have adventures! I want to experience love and freedom!
That’s what this week’s episode of the Maker/Mistaker Podcast is all about. I’m gonna start traveling again after I take care of some things here in town. But I want to have extended stays in different cities. Portland comes to mind, but I was recently offered a place to stay in Asheville, NC. I might do that, we’ll see.
But lately I’ve been obsessed with dating apps. I went on two dates last week and had nice connections and I’m grateful. They definitely helped me expand my comfort zone and opened me up to what is possible. But the issue I’m struggling with is there’s a desire to see these women again and get closer, but I know I’m going to have to leave and end whatever consistency we establish. Will people get hurt? Is this safe? Am I doing this right?
I wonder how much I want to keep this dating thing going. If I’m being honest, it’s fun but exhausting. It can be a lot of swiping and starring and messaging just to get a date. And then what? I still like to use these apps like OK Cupid and Tinder to meet people I never would otherwise know or consider asking out. I am enjoying it for now, but I know it’s just temporary and something I’m “getting out of my system” so to speak.
My real priority is me and my personal growth. I find that when I’m feeling safe, secure, and loved by myself then good things tend to happen to me. You know, not giving that power away to other people. When I’m going after what I love and what feels inspiring, people are attracted to that and they come to me. It’s a lot better than me feeling lonely and swiping right on 100 Tinder profiles only to get a few automated bot messages back. Haha!
The takeaways in this episode are
- put the intent out there and be “open to receive”
- be grateful for every experience and know that it’s temporary
- everything is a mirror reflecting back your state of being