Leandra Vane - Trophy Wife: Sexuality, Disability, and Femininity (ep 22)

I’m quite excited about this episode of the podcast. I talk with Leandra Vane, author of one of my favorite books Trophy Wife: Sexuality, Disability, Femininity. It might be one of my more “controversial” episodes because we talk openly about sex, porn, disability, kink, BDSM, sexual fantasies, open relationships, fear, shame, and shit. Leandra has a way about her that makes these subjects feel relatable and safe to talk about.

I loved her book. Here’s my five star review I just posted.

One of the best books I’ve read in a while. Such honest and intimate writing. It was so relatable and I found myself feeling inspired and hopeful for my own “sexual coming-of-age” in my 30s. We may not all have the same challenges, but are all “passing” in some form or another. Meaning, we try to fit into society and “be normal”, but are hiding our true selves underneath fear and shame. Leandra puts this struggle into such beautiful words. She doesn’t hold back and has the courage to talk about taboo subjects with such intelligence and vulnerability. I can’t recommend this book enough for anyone who is trying to be more authentic and true to themselves

Topics covered in this episode:

Having a disability
Feeling different from everyone else
Fear and shame around our bodies, sexuality, and kinks
Femininity and “one of the guys”
Shit… yes, shit.
Bowel and bladder issues in dating
BDSM and Kink
Honesty and authenticity
“Passing” as a “normal” or a socially acceptable person instead of being ourselves
Pornography and “porn therapy”
Erotica and fan fiction
Devotees and disability fetishists
Body Identity
Sexual objectification
Open relationships and polyamory
Ethical Non Monogamy