After the breakup, all I could was think about her. I contacted lots of friends and realized I was kinda running away from myself. My thoughts went from, “how do I win her back” to “how do I take care of myself.”
Messages, videos, and books started flooding into my awareness. The song “Me, Myself, and I” came on when I walked into a cafe and I had a strange feeling that it was meant for me. The ironic thing was that the girl I broke up with introduced me to that song. She loved it and played it several times! Just listen to that chorus and tell me it’s not meant for my situation!
I went to the book store and wasn’t intending to buy anything, but a book called Single jumped off the shelf at me. I flipped through it and started to instantly feel empowered. Hmm! I ended up getting it and it helped me start to fall in love with the fact that I was single for the first time since I was a teenager. What a beautiful thing.
So how do I successfully be single?
How do I give myself the love that I seek from others?
The pain that I experienced with my lover recently showed me areas that I felt disempowered to meet my own needs. The idea of “meeting my own needs” was another theme that kept popping up. Teal Swan had a video entitled Meet Your Needs and I recently discovered author David Ji – who wrote a book called destressifying which I got on Audible and it has re-inspired my meditation habit. He has an entire section on identifying and meeting your needs!
I saw several friends on Facebook share memes with similar self-empowered themes. And in my weekly Empath group, others were going through similar situations. It seemed like a theme for everyone in my life at the moment. Meet your needs.
Here’s another great article by Teal Swan on The 6 Core Human Needs. Are you getting yours met?
The idea of dating myself started to feel like a really awesome opportunity actually. I started to feel more empowered to spend time alone. I asked my single friends for ideas on things to do and I got quite a bit of response! See, I’m not used to doing things “for fun” by myself. Usually my alone time is filled with work. And fun was reserved for friends and my spouse. But now I have to be my own spouse. My own companion. And I was up for the challenge!
If you are single, or partnered but looking for a bit of independence, here are some “things you can do by yourself” that my friends and I put together. Enjoy!
32 Self Date Ideas
- Dining at a new restaurant
- Browsing the book store and letting your intuition guide you
- Hike on the trails or stroll in the park
- Take a spontaneous walk around the city
- Uchiko happy hour and site at the bar and watch them bar the food
- Morning ritual of burning incense, reading something inspirational, and sipping tea, then going to yoga
- Going to Juiceland
- Hanging out in my favorite coffee shop with this week’s Economist
- Going to an observatory would be badass, because space
- Going to art galleries
- Bike rides, can go as slow as I want!
- Long car rides with audiobooks
- Guilty pleasures that no one can judge you for cuz you’re alone doing it!
- A movie that none of my friends would see with me
- Go out for expensive-ish food
- One night solo camping trip
- Solo shopping guided by intuition
- Driving for a couple hours to explore
- Skateboarding
- Kava bar
- Seeing improv and stand-up comedy shows
- Sailing
- Going to the gym
- Meditating
- Hikes
- Drawing
- Practicing music
- Laying in the grass
- Go to a theme park
- Go to a concert or a play and get all fancy and dressed up
- Drive and just stop at any place that looks interesting
- Go to the casino
Got any other ideas for things you can do and enjoy by yourself? Send them my way!
